The Overbearing, Unbearable Leader
Your team is unhappy, unproductive, and disengaged, why?
Let’s take a closer look at some common leadership behaviors that could be harming your workplace, and they may be coming from you.
Leadership behavior and actions are a mirror. They reflect your mindset, values, and emotional intelligence. Whether you realize it or not, the way you lead sets the tone for your entire team’s culture and performance.
If you’re constantly taking ownership of every task, micromanaging how your team communicates, down to the wording of an email, there’s a problem. This isn’t leadership. It’s control.
How you handle conflict, challenges, and even good performance has a ripple effect across your team. When your approach is domineering or overly critical, it creates an environment where employees feel insecure, undermined, and silenced. In short, you’ve become both overbearing (too controlling) and unbearable (too difficult to tolerate).
Signs of overbearing and unbearable leadership:
- You always need to have the final say.
- You constantly check or redo your team’s work.
- Team members avoid giving feedback or speaking up.
- You rarely ask, “How do you feel about this?” or “What do you think?”
- People seem disengaged, nervous, or withdrawn around you.
Just like a micromanager, this kind of leader can take all the joy out of work. Employees start to question whether they belong, whether they’re good enough, and whether it’s even worth trying anymore. They operate on high alert, bracing for criticism or correction, not collaboration.
So, how can you change?
It starts with humility and intentional action:
- Get a leadership coach – A trained coach can help you see your blind spots and navigate your growth.
- Understand the root of your behavior – Often, controlling tendencies are tied to fear, insecurity, or past experiences.
- Become reflective – Pause and consider how your actions affect others emotionally and psychologically.
- Talk to your team – Have honest conversations. Ask how they’re feeling and really listen to the answers.
Leadership isn’t about controlling others, it’s about empowering them. The goal is not perfection, but progress. If you’re brave enough to recognize these behaviors in yourself, you’re already taking the first step toward becoming a better, more respected, and truly impactful leader.
About the Author
Dr. Jaquelle Outlaw is a SHRM-certified HR professional and workforce development expert with a passion for creating data-driven, people-centric strategies. With years of experience in human resources, she specializes in leadership development, team dynamics, and employee well-being. Jaquelle has a PhD in Industrial-Organizational Psychology, where she deepens her expertise in the science of work and human behavior. Her research and work focus on leveraging psychological principles to drive workplace efficiency and employee satisfaction. Through this platform, Jaquelle aims to share valuable insights and practical strategies to help organizations build stronger, more engaged teams.